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I Should Never Sleep
I've heard, from multiple sources, that sleep is for the weak. As a mustilid, this inherintly worries me, but I suppose I'll survive.
The reason for my recent revelation of nocturnal inconvenience is that apparently some politicians keep their promises and they seem to do it while I sleep. I've missed many major historic events for the same reason. Slept right through 9/11, had a two day napping spree when we caught Saddam Hussein, not only slept through the major parts of the election but was in the middle of dreaming quite literally of gumdrops and sugar canes when Obama took office, and woke up to the revelation that God Of War III was released. It is of interesting note that, while I stayed awake for most the game, I was snoozing and woke to the news that a certain Zeus as people call him had been slain. I must stop sleeping.
I didn't personally buy the game, I don't have nearly the funds or the correct hardware for such an endeavour, but luckily my roommate and one of my friends seem to collectively hold ownership over the necessary materials. Their powers combined, I am Kratos.
The game, as anyone who's played Devil May Cry might suspect, involves you, hacking, slashing, and the slaying of deities. Unfortunately, not a very wide variety. But I suppose slaying Zeus himself is more than I expected out of most games. Ending could have been a little less cheesy, but then again, I have won guitar battles against Satan himself. He has trouble with the fingertaps. Hooves make that difficult, as I've proven with multiple friends in zebra suits. As such, I often suspect my less-talented friends of being zebras in friend suits, but this is an experiment for a later date.
Gameplay wise, it's nothing new. It's certainly fun and that's what's truly important, the fluid visuals of it bordering on artistic at times, and the puzzles themselves are quite interesting and fun. One of which, quite literally, is a piece of art. Lo and behold, it's not even lame. The game is pretty, which one should expect from a game exclusive to the Playstation 3. Or as I call it, the motherfucking powerhouse. Excuse my French, as the saying goes.
But enough about a game I only played myself for a whopping forty five minutes. Of course, this implies that I'm going to talk about a game that I have played for an extensive amount of time and, if anyone knows me, this sentence heavily implies that talk of Zombie Genocide as it relates to malls, carnivals, swamps, rain, and N'awlins.
I've often cited my gameplay hours of Left 4 Dead 2 at being 500+ and this is for two reasons, one of which is that there is no counter for how long I've played, and the other is for fear that this game has managed to consume 1000 hours of my life but in both cases I should warn you to make no mistake, I am severely underestimating.
Recently I have found myself caught in the throws of Dark Carnival, a snapshot of the Zombie Apocalypse taking place in scenic Non-Descript South in a, as luck would have it, carnival. To answer the question of those of you who apparently live in caves much like myself and, I imagine, most of Kansas, yes, you do kill clowns. Repeatedly. There's even an achievement for punching them in the face 15 times to make their noses honk. It is called Cl0wnd. I can't make this shit up.
Anecdote aside, it's my least favorite level in the game and the finale, which has you in a pseudo-epic battle on a concert stage as metal music blares in the background, is my least favorite segment of the game. Here is actually an ample place for a side statement, as my online friend and I play this game a lot and have managed to rank up those fabled 500+ hours together. So as she and I are assisting this newcomer to the game, she starts talking to her husband about their proposed trip next month. I'm used to this, but it's become inhibiting to the situation, as two of our teammates are incapacitated and I'm alone trying to help them while she, quite literally, is sitting on the plane and chatting on her cell phone. We die, and she flies away to safety, but it is at this moment that I become fantastically aware of the fact that this game has become so commonplace for us, that we quite literally discuss vacations whilst we play where two months ago it was the sole black hole of our attention.
Have your PS3 study that, biotch.
What, I suppose, is most frighteningly evident of the gameplay hours we have in this game, is that our reaction is "Oh well, let's do it again" as though surviving the zombie apocalypse has merely become commonplace for us. The strange part is, it quite literally has.
It's far and away my favorite game in my library right now and we're not talking the school library, the city library, or even the county library here, we're talking the goddamned Barnes And Noble. There's been one other game in the course of history to do this to me, and it took the masterpiece five add-ons to amass the hours this takes. It is at this overpowering revelation that I realize there are people who do this hunched over their desk, eating cheetoh's, farting on themselves, and bragging about their level 45 Paladin. I stood up, turned off my Xbox, and went for a walk. I refuse to be a WoW head.

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*pouncehuggles* You have an LJ! Hi pet! :D

I do haz an LJ! :D I'm gonna try to update more. Mostly cause I think I'm funny. *Crosses fingers*

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